Six months living with my partner, what have I learned?

It’s pretty crazy to think that it’s been just more than six months since my boyfriend and I picked up our keys and moved into our tiny but lovely flat in Islington.

We’d sort of been living together properly since the January, he moved into my old tiny and less lovely flat in Camden – it was a great location but the mould-stained walls and lack of proper living room really started to grate on me. I planned to live in Camden for a year before finding a place with Rai, but five months into my living there (and two and a half months into Rai’s unplanned move in) we decided to get our own place, and it’s honestly one of the best things i’ve ever done.

After four years of living in a student house, then six to seven months of moving back in with my parents and then out into what felt an awful lot like a fifth student house; to have a place that feels like home is wonderful. I appreciate i’m very lucky, I think it’s tough in the first few years living in London to find somewhere to call home. Rent is astronomical and most people have no choice but to bunk in with strangers and hope they aren’t a total bunch of loonies with a penchant for leaving half-eaten food around the kitchen.

Of course it isn’t just the flat that makes it feel like home, I get to wake up with my best friend each day, snuggle up every night before we go to sleep, binge watch our favourite tv shows in the evening, and even get drunk together and play the wii if we’ve really got nothing else to do. If i’m ever ill I know i’ve got someone there to look after me, and he knows it too. We split chores evenly and have a firm ‘whoever cooks doesn’t clean up’ rule – something i’d strongly suggest implementing if you’re about to move in with your other half!  

All in all, it’s been a pretty fantastic six months, and I just hope I can break the nasty habit of moving every year and the landlord doesn’t put the rent up and this place suddenly becomes very unaffordable…

So honestly, what hasn’t been so great? Well, without sounding like some loved-up googly-eyed buffoon, there really is virtually nothing I don’t love about living with Rai. BUT, if I were to be super critical, i’d say it perhaps irritates me a little when he spends all evening playing his playstation. I just get bored and want to hang out. The rumours are also true, you do bicker more. It’s inevitable really, if you’re spending that much time with somebody you’re bound to argue about rubbish occasionally. Examples of bickering include criticising one another’s cleaning capabilities (he thinks i’m crap, I disagree), debating who killed the cactus and whining at each other over whose turn it is to hang up the laundry – certainly nothing make or break.

One thing that is really cool about living with your partner (well, I think it’s cool anyway…), is buying stuff together. You feel like such an adult, making decisions about decoration and investing money in furniture that you plan to have for years. So far we’ve bought a bookcase, a Nintendo Wii, a shit load of kitchen stuff and various bits to decorate the bathroom, and right now we’ve got big plans in place to buy a shoe rack.

I’d say there is no right or wrong time to move in with your partner, but I would say it’s probably not the smartest idea to do it if you’ve only been together a couple of months. Rai and I were together for nearly two and a half years before we moved in together, which some might say isn’t very long at all, but as we’d been relatively joined at the hip since day one, it felt right for us. Let’s not forget that it’s a big financial commitment, you will spend more money than if you just lived with housemates; your rent will likely be greater, and you’ll buy a lot of stuff that you wouldn’t just moving into a fully furnished house ready with housemates. It’s also a big emotional commitment, while of course you hope you’re together forever, if you think it’s likely that you’re going to split up, for goodness sake save yourself the pain and don’t live together!

I’ve lived in London for 10 months now (!), and quite honestly living with Rai has made it so much more enjoyable. What nobody tells you about moving to a big city is that it can be hellishly lonely. I’m sure i’ll write a post on this sometime, but there’s something a little strange about being persistently surrounded by thousands of people, 99.9% of whom you will never see again. You realise what a tiny fish you are in a huge pond. Anyway, what better way to cure loneliness than to come home to your fave person everyday to bitch about work and chat total rubbish together? Literally none.     

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